Mom and Apples

Since my mom's passing in 2021  I've had a few stories waiting to be told but I've just had trouble finding the words/voice. This one has a little bit of a back story. The photo is me with my daughter riding my mom's new horse at the time, Amigo. I think it's the only photo I have of him. (My mom loved horses and raised me a horse girl too) on the day my mom passed, my sister and her son had left back to the city. I stayed with my dad until quite sometime after midnight. We sat in silence at the kitchen table with mom's absence thick. I start talking just to break up the awkwardness more than anything. Asking a few questions and then  dad starts talking about his and mom's life. How they joined the circus together and eloped. How much my mom loved horses; even riding horseback many miles to school when she was younger.

We get on the subject of all of the horses she kept over the years.  Her 200 mile trip on horseback that took over a week and gained her and her friend some notoriety and a write up in the local paper. Eventually  we get to talking about Amigo and how "the boys" (my son and nephew)  over fed him a good sized cardboard box full of  apples and the horse died. Now here's the funny (weird) part, because I remember this happening a little differently, but really I'm not going to say anything, I'm going to let the old man reminisce  and tell his story. Just in that moment..my mom's voice, plain as day -  just like she's standing behind me, pops into my head.  She says "Briar, that's bullshit! Plain and simple, you know it and I know it!" I wasn't  too very startled, my mom was a strong personality.  I kind of chuckle to myself because now I'm  called out  and then she says  "You'd better say something!" OK MOM I  think. So I say my dad  "That's not how I heard it - mom always said you were the one that  fed the horse all of the apples!!" My dad laughs and I kind of snicker with the memory because he knows who I heard it from - mom, of course! Dad then proceeded to  say "well anyway, the horse died!" So funny at the time and I in the numb chaos that followed totally forgot about the connection in the moment.

Fast forward to a couple of days after mom's service. A student I was mentoring sends me a message. "How are you? I have something to tell you. He says..."your mom came to me while I was sitting in the power. She asked me to tell you that everything is going to be okay and I don't know what this means...but "APPLES" I said thank you.I explained it to him. How mom knew I needed the validation from elsewhere to know it wasn't "just my grief or imagination" making that connection  up. How she helped me show the proof IS indeed in  the pudding!